“Meagan! Get me the fuck out of the city!”
Elise’s voice drummed in her ear as Meagan squinted. “Damn sunlight...”
“WHAT?”
“Nothing, I said it’s too bright. I’m almost there! Where are you?”
Meagan could hear a scuffle and Elise’s breath quicken, and she slammed her foot on the gas even harder. “I have no idea!” Elise screamed.
“I’m coming! And I have Neosporin!”
She waited for Elise to fight off the giraffe hoard and escape outside to find a street sign. “Okay I’m at ninety three Tansley Avenue!”
“Oh that’s near where Steve lives...”
“FOCUS MEAGAN!”
“Right!” Meagan said, shaking off the image of her very attractive co-worker. “Okay just sit tight, I’m coming. Did you get a weapon?”
“Um, yeah, it’s a golf club...”
“Good!” Meagan shouted. “That’s good! Golf clubs are really sturdy. If they can damage a Lexus they can kill a giraffe.”
“A Lexus?”
“Tiger Woods. You know, it wouldn’t kill you to turn on TSN once in awhile...”
“You know I really don’t think this is the time to DISCUSS TELEVISION!”
Meagan swerved out of the way of a passing SUV and stared in horror at the driver. The middle aged man was being mauled to death by a tiny orange figure. “Elise I’m stepping on it. The giraffes are headed your way. They seem to have originated in the suburbs.”
“As most evil tends to do.”
“Okay don’t leave that street. I’m hanging up now, we should conserve battery life. I’ll be right there. And try to grab some chicken!”
“Some chicken?”
“For your cat. Cats can’t eat granola Elise.”
“...right...”
12 August, 2011
Chapter 6
Elise was dizzy and in pain as she sat up, unsure of where she was. She grabbed for the car's door-handle, opening it and falling out onto the pavement. It took a moment to remember why she was in a car and why there was a dead cyclist on it, and when she did she didn't feel hysterical anymore, because the dizzy feeling didn't go away. She felt her head and when she looked at her hand it was covered in blood. The airbag had deployed, but when she saw the cracked window of the car door she realized her head had hit that instead.
Milo jumped down from the car and began to nuzzle his face against her arm, apparently unharmed from the accident. She thought he was going to scamper away in fear, but he seemed reluctant to leave her side.
Good, she thought, maybe he'll scare away those things.
She got to her feet, looking around at the quiet street. If Meagan had taught her anything it was that the sound of the crash and the smell of blood was going to attract any giraffes within range. She started walking, still too dazed to really care what direction she was going in, and Milo dutifully followed.
Elise used to laugh at Meagan whenever she would start on a rant about being prepared for the apocalypse, but she had been patient with Elise, ignoring her jokes and drilling the importance for survival into her brain. For her birthday every year Meagan would buy her a book; The Road, World War Z, essentially every novel written by John Wyndham, all to get Elise to soak up some knowledge on how to be prepared for when the day came. She in turn would jokingly buy Meagan SARS masks and mace refills.
And now... Elise still couldn't believe crazy-ass Meagan, who always checked for emergency exits when they walked into a room, had been right all this time. She reached for her phone and realized she had left it in the car. It didn't matter, the damn thing was dead anyway. She could find a new one, and while she was at it she could find a weapon as well.
She thought about backtracking, but it was clear that the giraffes were more concentrated in that direction. She guessed that in a panic everyone had started running in the same direction, but they probably hadn't gotten far. The images of the dead she had passed flashed through her head like a slideshow she couldn't turn off.
They reached a crossroad and looked down at Milo who had begun inching towards the right. She always used to say that in an emergency you should follow the animals, so they went to the right. It was a quiet road with large houses. She decided she needed to get a hold of Meagan if she had any chance of making it out of the city alive and walked up to the first one.
The door was locked, so she grabbed a rock from the garden and smashed the front window. She didn't care if she made noise, she didn't plan on staying long. She picked Milo up and deposited him into the empty house. The inhabitants had probably been at work when the attack had begun. Where had it begun anyway? The airport, she imagined. There was were two in the city, one half an hour from downtown. Meagan would probably have a better idea where this might have come from, and more importantly: how far it might have reached by this point.
She found a land line. It was dead. Feeling frustrated she decided find a weapon and a cell phone - which probably meant digging through pockets of dead people.
First she opened the fridge and grabbed some chicken. She unwrapped it and threw it on the floor for Milo to chew on. He deserved a good meal after saving her life. She went to the bathroom to look at the cut on her head. It was hidden somewhere in her hair, but the left side of her face was covered in blood. She tried to wash it quickly and found some Polysporin to rub on the wound. She bet all her money that Meagan would know how to stitch it up.
She found a bag of golf clubs and grabbed the big one, feeling silly that she didn't know what it was called, but she had seen one of these crack open a skull once when she was a kid and had no doubt it would be able to seriously fuck up a tiny giraffe.
Milo hissed and she heard the sound of the wailing giraffes outside. They had begun to wander down the street. Swearing softly she grabbed Milo.
Two giraffes saw her and ran towards the porch. Milo attacked first, but Elise was right behind him, swinging the golf club at the nearest giraffe and sending it halfway down the block where it splattered into a heap of evil giraffe goo. More were coming and her and Milo turned to run - that's when she saw the dead body being chewed on by giraffe. She almost left it behind, but her need to contact Meagan was becoming imperative.
A Blackberry was in his hand and on the other end of the line she could hear a woman's voice saying hello over and over again. She gave the giraffe a good whack and it flew into a tree with a satisfying crack. Then she grabbed the phone.
"Lock your doors and don't go outside!" She yelled and hung up, then she started dialing Meagan's number. More giraffes were appearing from everywhere and she started running aimlessly trying to get away, Milo on her heels.
At the first ring Meagan answered.
"Hello???" Meagan sounded frantic.
"My head is bleeding and Milo is with me!"
"What???"
"Meagan! Get me the fuck out of the city!"
Milo jumped down from the car and began to nuzzle his face against her arm, apparently unharmed from the accident. She thought he was going to scamper away in fear, but he seemed reluctant to leave her side.
Good, she thought, maybe he'll scare away those things.
She got to her feet, looking around at the quiet street. If Meagan had taught her anything it was that the sound of the crash and the smell of blood was going to attract any giraffes within range. She started walking, still too dazed to really care what direction she was going in, and Milo dutifully followed.
Elise used to laugh at Meagan whenever she would start on a rant about being prepared for the apocalypse, but she had been patient with Elise, ignoring her jokes and drilling the importance for survival into her brain. For her birthday every year Meagan would buy her a book; The Road, World War Z, essentially every novel written by John Wyndham, all to get Elise to soak up some knowledge on how to be prepared for when the day came. She in turn would jokingly buy Meagan SARS masks and mace refills.
And now... Elise still couldn't believe crazy-ass Meagan, who always checked for emergency exits when they walked into a room, had been right all this time. She reached for her phone and realized she had left it in the car. It didn't matter, the damn thing was dead anyway. She could find a new one, and while she was at it she could find a weapon as well.
She thought about backtracking, but it was clear that the giraffes were more concentrated in that direction. She guessed that in a panic everyone had started running in the same direction, but they probably hadn't gotten far. The images of the dead she had passed flashed through her head like a slideshow she couldn't turn off.
They reached a crossroad and looked down at Milo who had begun inching towards the right. She always used to say that in an emergency you should follow the animals, so they went to the right. It was a quiet road with large houses. She decided she needed to get a hold of Meagan if she had any chance of making it out of the city alive and walked up to the first one.
The door was locked, so she grabbed a rock from the garden and smashed the front window. She didn't care if she made noise, she didn't plan on staying long. She picked Milo up and deposited him into the empty house. The inhabitants had probably been at work when the attack had begun. Where had it begun anyway? The airport, she imagined. There was were two in the city, one half an hour from downtown. Meagan would probably have a better idea where this might have come from, and more importantly: how far it might have reached by this point.
She found a land line. It was dead. Feeling frustrated she decided find a weapon and a cell phone - which probably meant digging through pockets of dead people.
First she opened the fridge and grabbed some chicken. She unwrapped it and threw it on the floor for Milo to chew on. He deserved a good meal after saving her life. She went to the bathroom to look at the cut on her head. It was hidden somewhere in her hair, but the left side of her face was covered in blood. She tried to wash it quickly and found some Polysporin to rub on the wound. She bet all her money that Meagan would know how to stitch it up.
She found a bag of golf clubs and grabbed the big one, feeling silly that she didn't know what it was called, but she had seen one of these crack open a skull once when she was a kid and had no doubt it would be able to seriously fuck up a tiny giraffe.
Milo hissed and she heard the sound of the wailing giraffes outside. They had begun to wander down the street. Swearing softly she grabbed Milo.
Two giraffes saw her and ran towards the porch. Milo attacked first, but Elise was right behind him, swinging the golf club at the nearest giraffe and sending it halfway down the block where it splattered into a heap of evil giraffe goo. More were coming and her and Milo turned to run - that's when she saw the dead body being chewed on by giraffe. She almost left it behind, but her need to contact Meagan was becoming imperative.
A Blackberry was in his hand and on the other end of the line she could hear a woman's voice saying hello over and over again. She gave the giraffe a good whack and it flew into a tree with a satisfying crack. Then she grabbed the phone.
"Lock your doors and don't go outside!" She yelled and hung up, then she started dialing Meagan's number. More giraffes were appearing from everywhere and she started running aimlessly trying to get away, Milo on her heels.
At the first ring Meagan answered.
"Hello???" Meagan sounded frantic.
"My head is bleeding and Milo is with me!"
"What???"
"Meagan! Get me the fuck out of the city!"
Chapter 5
“Dammit! Hello?!?!” Meagan screamed into the phone, “Elise are you still there?”
Okay, stay calm. No reason to panic, Elise said they were giraffes. Think Meagan! How is a giraffe different than a zombie really?
She pulled over onto the side of the westbound lane and this time she noticed a few other crazy people headed towards the city. But they weren’t driving offensively; this was all defence. Something in Petesborough was literally driving people out. The cars drove too erratically, like rats evacuating a sewer. These people were definitely running from something.
Meagan hopped out and opened her trunk. She removed the thick grey tarp her father made her – that looked exactly like the bottom of a trunk – and opened a large black case marked Peavey. “I always knew guitar lessons would come in handy,” she muttered as she dialled in the combination. She had only actually attended three lessons when she was seventeen, and she did show quite promise – until it occurred to her she might actually be seen playing by someone – but she was more interested in the highly secure packing most instruments and amplifiers came in anyway.
She popped the case open and surveyed the contents. Crowbar, GOOD bag (or Get Out Of Dodge), liquefied food she ordered off that bizarre Republican website, and most importantly... the crossbows. Maybe zombies weren’t real, but crazy serial killers were and for whatever reason, crossbows were perfectly legal in Ontario. So she’d bought three of them as soon as she turned eighteen.
“Who’s crazy NOW, mom?” she said, but her triumph was short lived. Behind her came the familiar sound of burning, screeching rubber followed by breaks, and then the inevitable shattering of glass.
She squinted against the sun to see a young couple shove open the door of their Prius about fifty feet behind her. The boy stumbled over to the girl as she hobbled to the curb, and Meagan gave a fleeting thought to just completely fuck off before they saw all of her supplies.
But instead, she grabbed a fistful of granola bars and some water, slammed the trunk shut, pocketed the crowbar, and took off for the kids.
“Hey!” Meagan shouted, waving her arms as much as she could. “Are you guys all right?”
They looked up at her, their eyes completely glazed over. “I, I think so...” the girl replied. “Who are you?”
Meagan stopped ten feet short of the curb. She pointed a shaky hand at the boy and said, “You’re bleeding.”
“I know that. Do you think you could give us a ride to the hospital?”
“...No, I’m sorry. Here just take these. I’m sorry.” Meagan tossed the water at them and slid her crowbar out of her jeans for easier mobility and turned at once to hightail it back to her car. The couple shouted and swore after her, threatening all kinds of bodily harm but she knew they would never catch her.
The boy wasn’t just bleeding.
His face was practically melting, as if his body was rejecting the skin. And the girl didn’t have a scratch on her.
Jesus, Meagan thought. Whatever had sliced that kid open happened before the accident, and it certainly wasn’t getting into her car.
She tossed the crowbar into the passenger side and peeled off the highway, watching in her rear-view for the couple. But they had obviously given up, or were hopefully using her water to tend to their wounds.
As she drove away Meagan had no idea that the “ailment” the boy had suffered was now, quite literally, eating his girlfriend.
Okay, stay calm. No reason to panic, Elise said they were giraffes. Think Meagan! How is a giraffe different than a zombie really?
She pulled over onto the side of the westbound lane and this time she noticed a few other crazy people headed towards the city. But they weren’t driving offensively; this was all defence. Something in Petesborough was literally driving people out. The cars drove too erratically, like rats evacuating a sewer. These people were definitely running from something.
Meagan hopped out and opened her trunk. She removed the thick grey tarp her father made her – that looked exactly like the bottom of a trunk – and opened a large black case marked Peavey. “I always knew guitar lessons would come in handy,” she muttered as she dialled in the combination. She had only actually attended three lessons when she was seventeen, and she did show quite promise – until it occurred to her she might actually be seen playing by someone – but she was more interested in the highly secure packing most instruments and amplifiers came in anyway.
She popped the case open and surveyed the contents. Crowbar, GOOD bag (or Get Out Of Dodge), liquefied food she ordered off that bizarre Republican website, and most importantly... the crossbows. Maybe zombies weren’t real, but crazy serial killers were and for whatever reason, crossbows were perfectly legal in Ontario. So she’d bought three of them as soon as she turned eighteen.
“Who’s crazy NOW, mom?” she said, but her triumph was short lived. Behind her came the familiar sound of burning, screeching rubber followed by breaks, and then the inevitable shattering of glass.
She squinted against the sun to see a young couple shove open the door of their Prius about fifty feet behind her. The boy stumbled over to the girl as she hobbled to the curb, and Meagan gave a fleeting thought to just completely fuck off before they saw all of her supplies.
But instead, she grabbed a fistful of granola bars and some water, slammed the trunk shut, pocketed the crowbar, and took off for the kids.
“Hey!” Meagan shouted, waving her arms as much as she could. “Are you guys all right?”
They looked up at her, their eyes completely glazed over. “I, I think so...” the girl replied. “Who are you?”
Meagan stopped ten feet short of the curb. She pointed a shaky hand at the boy and said, “You’re bleeding.”
“I know that. Do you think you could give us a ride to the hospital?”
“...No, I’m sorry. Here just take these. I’m sorry.” Meagan tossed the water at them and slid her crowbar out of her jeans for easier mobility and turned at once to hightail it back to her car. The couple shouted and swore after her, threatening all kinds of bodily harm but she knew they would never catch her.
The boy wasn’t just bleeding.
His face was practically melting, as if his body was rejecting the skin. And the girl didn’t have a scratch on her.
Jesus, Meagan thought. Whatever had sliced that kid open happened before the accident, and it certainly wasn’t getting into her car.
She tossed the crowbar into the passenger side and peeled off the highway, watching in her rear-view for the couple. But they had obviously given up, or were hopefully using her water to tend to their wounds.
As she drove away Meagan had no idea that the “ailment” the boy had suffered was now, quite literally, eating his girlfriend.
Chapter 4
Elise couldn't work in silence, she had to have music blasting out of her speakers at the highest decibel possible. She didn't hear the banging at her door until there was a moment of silence as the track changed. She tried to remember if she had ordered a package or was expecting anyone, but nothing came to mind. And anyway, this wasn't the normal kind of knocking, this was frantic pounding at her door.
She turned her music off, looking at the clock and realizing it was after 6p.m. Milo was still by the windows, pacing anxiously back and forth. The banging wouldn't stop and she got up to look through the peephole. It was a woman in her 40s, someone she had seen a few times in the halls. She looked terrified and feeling obliged to be neighbourly and help out, Elise opened the door.
The woman practically fell on top of her, but Elise moved aside at the last moment as she splashed into Elise's apartment, turning and screeching to close the door. Elise did so, feeling panicked as he looked around for her cell phone. The woman had blood on her hands and face.
"Are you hurt?" Elise saw her phone on the coffee table and went to grab it.
"He's dead!"
Elise froze, turning around slowly as the woman curled up on her floor and started bawling her eyes out.
"Who's dead?" Elise asked slowly.
"They got my husband! He's dead! He melted! HE MELTED!!!"
Elise didn't know what to say, and the woman keep ranting.
"He brought it home! He thought it was cute! I told him to call animal control! THEN IT BIT HIM!!!"
"Brought what home?"
The woman hadn't heard her, she just kept on screaming. "He started changing!!! He melted and... and... another one of those things crawled out of him!!!"
"What thing???" Milo had started hissing at the window again and Elise grabbed her phone to dial 911.
"A giraffe," the woman sobbed, sounding defeated.
"A... giraffe..." Elise paused. Was this a joke? She almost wanted to laugh, but the woman looked serious.
"So... a giraffe crawled out of your husband?" Elise sat down on her couch, trying to think of the scientific possibility of something like that. There was none.
The woman was starting to look sick, her face becoming more and more pale with every tear she shed.
"They came after me... so I ran here."
"That blood on you..."
"They bit me too," she buried her face into her hands and cried.
"Okay," she decided to let someone else figure this one out. There was clearly nothing she could do to help this insane woman. "I'm going to call for help."
911 was busy.
"Sorry, did you really say a giraffe?" Elise looked back at the woman, but something was wrong. She seemed to be... melting. There was really no better way to describe it. Her flesh looked gelatinous and clear and it was all just melting into a puddle on the floor. Milo looked on, cocking his head slightly.
Elise didn't have enough swear words in her vocabulary to describe the fear she felt, but she gave it her best shot as she started screaming.
Then, its head emerged. It was, as far as she could tell, a perfectly formed tiny giraffe. It was a little smaller than Milo, like a lap dog. It was a lap giraffe. A lap giraffe had just crawled out of the gelatinous ooze that used to be her neighbour. It looked at her, its tiny beady eyes glaring at her, then it charged.
Elise was too shocked to move. It reached her, opening its jaws to bite into her exposed ankles, Milo sprang, grabbing it in his own jaws, snapping its long neck instantly. The giraffe wailed as Milo shook it furiously. Then it went still and Milo looked displeased, clearly not liking the taste as it started to hack.
She almost vomited then, but there were noises outside. She went to her window, pulling her drapes apart - and there were dozens more miniature giraffes on her window sill, screeching at her and baring their teeth. Elise shut the curtains, but it was too late. They had seen her and were banging on the glass, a second later one of the windows shattered and the giraffes started pouring in.
With her phone in hand she grabbed Milo and ran out of her apartment. Her phone was ringing, it had been for some time, but she was anxious to get out of there and didn't check it. She opened the doors of her apartment and stopped. The street was littered with human corpse, each one surrounded by tiny giraffes suckling at their flesh.
She saw a car with an open door, the key in the ignition. She ran into it, slamming the door and throwing Milo in the back. She sat there for a moment shaking. The giraffes had noticed her. Slowly turning their necks to stare. She stepped down on the gas pedal as hard as she could, running over a few of them as she drove away. Her phone rang again and she answered.
"What?" She shouted, swerving to miss abandoned cars on the road.
"Elise! Are you still at home?"
"Fuck no, those things got in!"
"Those things? Is it zombies? I told you this day would come!"
"Not zombies! Giraffes!"
There was a pause. "I don't think I have anything in my apocalypse kit for giraffes."
Her phone beeped at her, and Elise realized it was dying. She hadn't thought to bring her charger.
"Doesn't matter," Meagan continued. "I'm coming to get you!"
"Don't go to my apartment! They're everywhere! I left! I'm in a car!"
"Where are you?"
"I don't know!" She hadn't been paying attention to the direction she was driving in, all she knew was that there were less giraffes now. She started feeling less panicked.
"Tell me the street-"
The phone beeped a final time.
"Meagan? Meagan?!?" She looked at her phone, dead. She would have to find a store and get a charger. Suddenly the car jerked and she looked up at the windscreen just in time for a cyclist to crash into it. The glass cracked and she hit the brakes, Milo hissed in the back as the car spun.
Then, there was silence.
She turned her music off, looking at the clock and realizing it was after 6p.m. Milo was still by the windows, pacing anxiously back and forth. The banging wouldn't stop and she got up to look through the peephole. It was a woman in her 40s, someone she had seen a few times in the halls. She looked terrified and feeling obliged to be neighbourly and help out, Elise opened the door.
The woman practically fell on top of her, but Elise moved aside at the last moment as she splashed into Elise's apartment, turning and screeching to close the door. Elise did so, feeling panicked as he looked around for her cell phone. The woman had blood on her hands and face.
"Are you hurt?" Elise saw her phone on the coffee table and went to grab it.
"He's dead!"
Elise froze, turning around slowly as the woman curled up on her floor and started bawling her eyes out.
"Who's dead?" Elise asked slowly.
"They got my husband! He's dead! He melted! HE MELTED!!!"
Elise didn't know what to say, and the woman keep ranting.
"He brought it home! He thought it was cute! I told him to call animal control! THEN IT BIT HIM!!!"
"Brought what home?"
The woman hadn't heard her, she just kept on screaming. "He started changing!!! He melted and... and... another one of those things crawled out of him!!!"
"What thing???" Milo had started hissing at the window again and Elise grabbed her phone to dial 911.
"A giraffe," the woman sobbed, sounding defeated.
"A... giraffe..." Elise paused. Was this a joke? She almost wanted to laugh, but the woman looked serious.
"So... a giraffe crawled out of your husband?" Elise sat down on her couch, trying to think of the scientific possibility of something like that. There was none.
The woman was starting to look sick, her face becoming more and more pale with every tear she shed.
"They came after me... so I ran here."
"That blood on you..."
"They bit me too," she buried her face into her hands and cried.
"Okay," she decided to let someone else figure this one out. There was clearly nothing she could do to help this insane woman. "I'm going to call for help."
911 was busy.
"Sorry, did you really say a giraffe?" Elise looked back at the woman, but something was wrong. She seemed to be... melting. There was really no better way to describe it. Her flesh looked gelatinous and clear and it was all just melting into a puddle on the floor. Milo looked on, cocking his head slightly.
Elise didn't have enough swear words in her vocabulary to describe the fear she felt, but she gave it her best shot as she started screaming.
Then, its head emerged. It was, as far as she could tell, a perfectly formed tiny giraffe. It was a little smaller than Milo, like a lap dog. It was a lap giraffe. A lap giraffe had just crawled out of the gelatinous ooze that used to be her neighbour. It looked at her, its tiny beady eyes glaring at her, then it charged.
Elise was too shocked to move. It reached her, opening its jaws to bite into her exposed ankles, Milo sprang, grabbing it in his own jaws, snapping its long neck instantly. The giraffe wailed as Milo shook it furiously. Then it went still and Milo looked displeased, clearly not liking the taste as it started to hack.
She almost vomited then, but there were noises outside. She went to her window, pulling her drapes apart - and there were dozens more miniature giraffes on her window sill, screeching at her and baring their teeth. Elise shut the curtains, but it was too late. They had seen her and were banging on the glass, a second later one of the windows shattered and the giraffes started pouring in.
With her phone in hand she grabbed Milo and ran out of her apartment. Her phone was ringing, it had been for some time, but she was anxious to get out of there and didn't check it. She opened the doors of her apartment and stopped. The street was littered with human corpse, each one surrounded by tiny giraffes suckling at their flesh.
She saw a car with an open door, the key in the ignition. She ran into it, slamming the door and throwing Milo in the back. She sat there for a moment shaking. The giraffes had noticed her. Slowly turning their necks to stare. She stepped down on the gas pedal as hard as she could, running over a few of them as she drove away. Her phone rang again and she answered.
"What?" She shouted, swerving to miss abandoned cars on the road.
"Elise! Are you still at home?"
"Fuck no, those things got in!"
"Those things? Is it zombies? I told you this day would come!"
"Not zombies! Giraffes!"
There was a pause. "I don't think I have anything in my apocalypse kit for giraffes."
Her phone beeped at her, and Elise realized it was dying. She hadn't thought to bring her charger.
"Doesn't matter," Meagan continued. "I'm coming to get you!"
"Don't go to my apartment! They're everywhere! I left! I'm in a car!"
"Where are you?"
"I don't know!" She hadn't been paying attention to the direction she was driving in, all she knew was that there were less giraffes now. She started feeling less panicked.
"Tell me the street-"
The phone beeped a final time.
"Meagan? Meagan?!?" She looked at her phone, dead. She would have to find a store and get a charger. Suddenly the car jerked and she looked up at the windscreen just in time for a cyclist to crash into it. The glass cracked and she hit the brakes, Milo hissed in the back as the car spun.
Then, there was silence.
Chapter 3
All right, don’t panic. Everything is fine, this is perfectly normal behavior.
Meagan looked out the window of her little Ford and noticed that the traffic that was usually gridlocked heading back into the suburbs was completely gone. In fact, she was the only car on the road. She breathed slowly, her eyes darting around the car for a paper bag or something else she could hyperventilate into as to avoid careening off the side of the road, but alas she was incredibly tidy and found no such garbage. Her cell phone trilled in her purse and made her nearly jump out of her skin.
She reached over, not afraid of losing focus on the totally empty road, and checked it. Apparently Elise had also been able to scoot out of work early that day too.
“That’s odd...” Meagan mumbled to herself. Something about the wiring? What a strange thing to happen in a downtown high rise this day in age. “Totally nothing to worry about,” she told herself, but it was too late. She could feel the panic swelling up inside her and it was beginning to make her vision blurry.
Meagan suffered from acute panophobia, the fear of practically everything. She was constantly counting the steps to every exit; she slept with a baseball bat and a wine bottle opener (for close combat) next to her bed, and she kept two wooden planks and nearly a hundred “extra screws” near her front door all the time. She also had her back door welded shut from the inside, which wasn’t very fun in the summer but allowed her to sleep at night.
So the text from Elise did nothing to help her breathing, and she decided to pull off to the side of the road. Although she could very well have just stopped right on the highway, because she was still the only person heading into Petesborough. Where the hell was everybody?
She shut off the car and got out, shielding her eyes from the sun despite her UV sunglasses. Years of protecting her eyes from sunlight had left her utterly blind in anything brighter than a 60 watt bulb. Nothing looked out of the ordinary except for the traffic. There was no smoke coming from the buildings that lined the stretch of road. She turned back towards downtown, and it was completely clear there, too.
Then she noticed a little construction no man’s land not too far ahead that gave her access to the westbound lane. If the apocalypse was coming, she sure as hell wasn’t going to be alone with a bunch of soccer moms. She slid back into the car and hammered out a frantic text to Elise: “Don’t leave your house, I’m coming over. Something is VERY WRONG!!!!”
Her car kicked up a flurry of dust as she pulled a near 180 to make the construction zone u-turn, and she was barreling back downtown in a matter of seconds.
Meagan looked out the window of her little Ford and noticed that the traffic that was usually gridlocked heading back into the suburbs was completely gone. In fact, she was the only car on the road. She breathed slowly, her eyes darting around the car for a paper bag or something else she could hyperventilate into as to avoid careening off the side of the road, but alas she was incredibly tidy and found no such garbage. Her cell phone trilled in her purse and made her nearly jump out of her skin.
She reached over, not afraid of losing focus on the totally empty road, and checked it. Apparently Elise had also been able to scoot out of work early that day too.
“That’s odd...” Meagan mumbled to herself. Something about the wiring? What a strange thing to happen in a downtown high rise this day in age. “Totally nothing to worry about,” she told herself, but it was too late. She could feel the panic swelling up inside her and it was beginning to make her vision blurry.
Meagan suffered from acute panophobia, the fear of practically everything. She was constantly counting the steps to every exit; she slept with a baseball bat and a wine bottle opener (for close combat) next to her bed, and she kept two wooden planks and nearly a hundred “extra screws” near her front door all the time. She also had her back door welded shut from the inside, which wasn’t very fun in the summer but allowed her to sleep at night.
So the text from Elise did nothing to help her breathing, and she decided to pull off to the side of the road. Although she could very well have just stopped right on the highway, because she was still the only person heading into Petesborough. Where the hell was everybody?
She shut off the car and got out, shielding her eyes from the sun despite her UV sunglasses. Years of protecting her eyes from sunlight had left her utterly blind in anything brighter than a 60 watt bulb. Nothing looked out of the ordinary except for the traffic. There was no smoke coming from the buildings that lined the stretch of road. She turned back towards downtown, and it was completely clear there, too.
Then she noticed a little construction no man’s land not too far ahead that gave her access to the westbound lane. If the apocalypse was coming, she sure as hell wasn’t going to be alone with a bunch of soccer moms. She slid back into the car and hammered out a frantic text to Elise: “Don’t leave your house, I’m coming over. Something is VERY WRONG!!!!”
Her car kicked up a flurry of dust as she pulled a near 180 to make the construction zone u-turn, and she was barreling back downtown in a matter of seconds.
11 August, 2011
Chapter 2
Elise got off work early that day. Something had gone wrong with the security alarm and it wouldn't stop going off. It was a new building with construction workers coming and going. She was positive one of them had accidentally cut a wire, but no one would own up to it. As she left she saw three of them holding some frayed wires and looking perplexed.
"Does this building have mice?" One of them asked, but Elise didn't stick around to hear the rest, she wanted to get out of there fast in case they fixed the alarm and made people get back to work. Besides, she was eager to have the free time in order to finish the work she had promised Eric she would do for the blog that week.
Luck was with her, the red TTC streetcar pulled up right as she reached the stop, and without rush hour to contend with she had a seat all to herself. She opened her book and started reading, settling in for the half-hour long ride before she got home. A few minutes later the lady in front of her gave an excited exclamation.
"Is that a giraffe???" She pointed out the window.
Elise looked, but could see nothing on the street other than people walking by. She looked at the lady as though she might be crazy, but she lady looked like a well put together business woman.
"I swear I saw a giraffe," she said, looking a little flustered now that everyone on the streetcar was giving her a funny look. "It was a baby or something... ran around the corner..."
Elise shrugged and went back to her book. The lady had probably seen a dog. She was pretty sure an escaped giraffe would have been news - and besides, they were nowhere near the Toronto Zoo.
When she got home her phoned chimed, a text message from Meagan.
"My boss had a heart attack! Looks like we get to go home early today."
"Me too," she texted back. "Something chewed through the alarm system. What a weird day."
She opened the door to her ground-floor apartment and her cat Milo started purring and rubbing against her leg, not even letting her take her shoes off before it began begging for food.
"Shoo," she managed to step over the ball of fur as she made her way to the bathroom. She turned the radio on as she washed her face, putting her dark brown hair back in a ponytail.
The song on the radio ended and the DJ came on. He was laughing. "Well here's a weird news story. Apparently there have been a few sightings downtown of giraffes. Yes, you heard me, giraffes. Only apparently these giraffes are the size of chihuahuas," the DJ broke off into hysterical laughter.
Elise frowned and turned the radio off. Okay, she thought, this is getting weird.
"Have you seen giraffes today?" Elise chuckled to herself as she texted Meagan again. "Apparently Rob Ford slipped something into the water, because they're being seen all around the city."
Her phone chimed again almost instantly, but she didn't check it right away, because Milo was no longer waiting around the kitchen entrance. He was at the window sill, his spine arched and his ears pointed back. His was hissing at something. Elise walked over and looked out, but she couldn't see anything in the bushes around her apartment. She batted Milo away from the windows, but it made her feel uneasy, so she made sure the windows were all locked and the closed the curtains.
She forgot to check the text message Meagan had just sent her and sat down at her desk to get to work. The thought of giraffes fading to the back of her mind.
"Does this building have mice?" One of them asked, but Elise didn't stick around to hear the rest, she wanted to get out of there fast in case they fixed the alarm and made people get back to work. Besides, she was eager to have the free time in order to finish the work she had promised Eric she would do for the blog that week.
Luck was with her, the red TTC streetcar pulled up right as she reached the stop, and without rush hour to contend with she had a seat all to herself. She opened her book and started reading, settling in for the half-hour long ride before she got home. A few minutes later the lady in front of her gave an excited exclamation.
"Is that a giraffe???" She pointed out the window.
Elise looked, but could see nothing on the street other than people walking by. She looked at the lady as though she might be crazy, but she lady looked like a well put together business woman.
"I swear I saw a giraffe," she said, looking a little flustered now that everyone on the streetcar was giving her a funny look. "It was a baby or something... ran around the corner..."
Elise shrugged and went back to her book. The lady had probably seen a dog. She was pretty sure an escaped giraffe would have been news - and besides, they were nowhere near the Toronto Zoo.
When she got home her phoned chimed, a text message from Meagan.
"My boss had a heart attack! Looks like we get to go home early today."
"Me too," she texted back. "Something chewed through the alarm system. What a weird day."
She opened the door to her ground-floor apartment and her cat Milo started purring and rubbing against her leg, not even letting her take her shoes off before it began begging for food.
"Shoo," she managed to step over the ball of fur as she made her way to the bathroom. She turned the radio on as she washed her face, putting her dark brown hair back in a ponytail.
The song on the radio ended and the DJ came on. He was laughing. "Well here's a weird news story. Apparently there have been a few sightings downtown of giraffes. Yes, you heard me, giraffes. Only apparently these giraffes are the size of chihuahuas," the DJ broke off into hysterical laughter.
Elise frowned and turned the radio off. Okay, she thought, this is getting weird.
"Have you seen giraffes today?" Elise chuckled to herself as she texted Meagan again. "Apparently Rob Ford slipped something into the water, because they're being seen all around the city."
Her phone chimed again almost instantly, but she didn't check it right away, because Milo was no longer waiting around the kitchen entrance. He was at the window sill, his spine arched and his ears pointed back. His was hissing at something. Elise walked over and looked out, but she couldn't see anything in the bushes around her apartment. She batted Milo away from the windows, but it made her feel uneasy, so she made sure the windows were all locked and the closed the curtains.
She forgot to check the text message Meagan had just sent her and sat down at her desk to get to work. The thought of giraffes fading to the back of her mind.
Chapter 1
“I will absolutely go Nancy Grace on this fucking kid!!!”
Meagan could practically feel Elise rolling her eyes over the phone. “All he did was call you a troll. And you did sort of disturb shit in his little group...”
“I didn’t disturb anything! I said I didn’t like his web design because it was totally fucking absurdly hideous, and I wasn’t the only person who thought so. Look at all those people who liked my comment!”
“I know, and you were right,” Elise soothed. “But Eric is like the king of those nerds, and somebody came along and embarrassed him in front of his court and he got on his hind legs about it.”
“It’s not my job to feed his ego,” Meagan spat. “He’s narcissistic and unprofessional and you shouldn’t be wasting your time working with him. He’s only going to embarrass you.”
Elise sighed. “I know, but it’s just a little blog project to keep me busy. At least I’m not so bored at work that I’m screaming about some guy deleting me from a Facebook group...”
Meagan tossed the pen she’d been chewing on across her desk. Elise was right. She was getting worked up over this little asshole for no reason because she was bored, and making Eric Beauren look stupid on Facebook wasn’t going to cure her. “I know, you’re right. Beauregard isn’t my problem. I’m just...” she lowered her voice and looked around first, “kind of bored here I guess.”
“You’re a fact checker. That’s boring work.”
“Yeah I know but I don’t think I just mean with my job. I mean with everything. Ever since I moved to Petesborough from the city every day seems to be exactly the same, like they’re just folding in on each other. Every Wednesday I do the laundry. Every Saturday I cut the grass. Every week is the same.”
“So come back to the city. And why do you do your laundry in the middle of the week...?”
“Because it’s more energy efficient or something; I got a flyer in the mail about it.”
“Uh you do realize that they wasted thousands of pieces of paper for—“
“Elise I gotta go,” Meagan cut off. She could see her boss’ office door creaking open above her cubicle wall. “I’ll call you later. Let me know how your date goes tonight!”
She hung up the phone quietly and looked around. Nobody had even moved; most were still using their headphones and probably didn’t hear a single word she said.
But when Meagan looked up at her boss, she noticed that Mr. Wittmore hadn’t noticed her on the phone at all. Or anybody for that matter. Because he was staring out the window that overlooked the parking lot, with an expression Meagan could only describe as sheer horror.
She watched him approach the window slowly, entranced by whatever he was witnessing. The old man placed his hands on the glass and leaned forward, his eyes focused on whatever madness was happening below. And just before he reeled backwards, clutched his chest and succumbed to a massive heart attack, he whispered,
“Giraffes...”
Meagan could practically feel Elise rolling her eyes over the phone. “All he did was call you a troll. And you did sort of disturb shit in his little group...”
“I didn’t disturb anything! I said I didn’t like his web design because it was totally fucking absurdly hideous, and I wasn’t the only person who thought so. Look at all those people who liked my comment!”
“I know, and you were right,” Elise soothed. “But Eric is like the king of those nerds, and somebody came along and embarrassed him in front of his court and he got on his hind legs about it.”
“It’s not my job to feed his ego,” Meagan spat. “He’s narcissistic and unprofessional and you shouldn’t be wasting your time working with him. He’s only going to embarrass you.”
Elise sighed. “I know, but it’s just a little blog project to keep me busy. At least I’m not so bored at work that I’m screaming about some guy deleting me from a Facebook group...”
Meagan tossed the pen she’d been chewing on across her desk. Elise was right. She was getting worked up over this little asshole for no reason because she was bored, and making Eric Beauren look stupid on Facebook wasn’t going to cure her. “I know, you’re right. Beauregard isn’t my problem. I’m just...” she lowered her voice and looked around first, “kind of bored here I guess.”
“You’re a fact checker. That’s boring work.”
“Yeah I know but I don’t think I just mean with my job. I mean with everything. Ever since I moved to Petesborough from the city every day seems to be exactly the same, like they’re just folding in on each other. Every Wednesday I do the laundry. Every Saturday I cut the grass. Every week is the same.”
“So come back to the city. And why do you do your laundry in the middle of the week...?”
“Because it’s more energy efficient or something; I got a flyer in the mail about it.”
“Uh you do realize that they wasted thousands of pieces of paper for—“
“Elise I gotta go,” Meagan cut off. She could see her boss’ office door creaking open above her cubicle wall. “I’ll call you later. Let me know how your date goes tonight!”
She hung up the phone quietly and looked around. Nobody had even moved; most were still using their headphones and probably didn’t hear a single word she said.
But when Meagan looked up at her boss, she noticed that Mr. Wittmore hadn’t noticed her on the phone at all. Or anybody for that matter. Because he was staring out the window that overlooked the parking lot, with an expression Meagan could only describe as sheer horror.
She watched him approach the window slowly, entranced by whatever he was witnessing. The old man placed his hands on the glass and leaned forward, his eyes focused on whatever madness was happening below. And just before he reeled backwards, clutched his chest and succumbed to a massive heart attack, he whispered,
“Giraffes...”
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